


"I'm Sorry. I Didn't Know"

by RileyMasters



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [10]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Febuwhump, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RileyMasters/pseuds/RileyMasters
Summary: Day Ten of Febuwhump 2021.It took her a while to realize the pattern.Every year since returning to the Guard, Booker would take a few days and just… check out. Sometimes he’d silently leave for a hotel, other years he’d hole up in his room if they were in a large enough safehouse.
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139807
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	"I'm Sorry. I Didn't Know"

**Author's Note:**

> I had already planned out what I wanted to write today, and then someone wrote the exact thing I'd thought of. Ok, well sad!Booker it is. <3

It took her a while to realize the pattern.

Every year since returning to the Guard, Booker would take a few days and just… check out. Sometimes he’d silently leave for a hotel, other years he’d hole up in his room if they were in a large enough safehouse.

And the one year they were close to Marseille when that time came again, he straight up vanished.

Nile tried asking the others. Andy didn’t bother answering her, just shoved her outside for an impromptu training session that left her exhausted and aching for days, even with their healing. Joe and Nicky both just gave her sad looks and quietly told her to speak to Booker himself about it, but to wait a month or so before bringing it up to him.

And of course, with how busy they all seemed to get once he returned to the family each year, she’d inevitably forget until the next year, and thus the cycle continued.

It took five years before she finally was able to ask him.

She found him reading in his room, bag already packed at the foot of his bed. They were close to Marseille again, so it looked like he was going to take off again. He looked almost miserable, but also strangely resigned.

Nile knocked on the doorframe to get his attention. “Hey Book.”

The older immortal looked up from  _ Les Misérables  _ and gave her the small smile that he reserved just for her. “ _ Bonjour  _ Nile.” He shifted over on his bed to make room for her to join him, as she often did when she was having a bad night.

She quickly kicked off her boots and sat down next to him. “Heading out tomorrow?”

He nodded, but didn’t actually answer her. 

“Book, what’s with that anyway? Need a break from us?” 

Booker looked at her with a bit of surprise in his eyes. “The others never explained?” Seeing her shake her head, he let out a sign. “It’s the anniversary of Jean-Pierre’s death. And around the same time thirty years prior the anniversary of my first death.”

Nile looked stricken. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

He reached out and pulled her into a loose hug. “It’s not your fault. And the others just acknowledge it without comment. If we’re not on a mission, I take a few days to remember who I lost, but also think about what comes next.”

Nile tightened the hug. “Hey, it makes sense. I usually cry my eyes out on my mom’s birthday. Do what you need to do to make you feel, right?”

The Frenchman leaned against her. “Right.”


End file.
